Peeing on republic day

Amidst all the patriotism and desh bhakti on republic day, you still have to pee. No matter what other activity you choose to abstain from (like drinking, for instance), peeing is something you really can't help. No matter what special activity, patriotic or otherwise you are carrying out, there’s no escaping the ultimate truth in life. You have got to pee. You get together somewhere, watch the march past, hoist the flag and make that proud salute. Then you go around and find the nearest bathroom (or isolated area with/without cover) to relieve yourself.

You listen to all these emotional patriotic songs. ‘Mere desh ke logon’ and ‘Desh mere’ among others. You also pee. That's life.

But what you definitely don’t want to do is to pee while listening to the patriotic songs. At least not when the song is ‘Jai Hind’.

You walk unsuspectingly into the mall washroom in between the movie, unzip, and are blissfully going about your business. It is then that you hear the strains of ‘bolo mere sang, jai hind, jai hind’ in the background. But by then it’s too late to stop. You’re in middle of it. There’s no turning back. You can’t block out the song either. You’ve caught it now. It can only get louder in your head.

You’re stuck there, peeing while repeatedly listening to arguably the two most patriotic words possible.

Why would any self respecting mall play loud patriotic songs in the washroom? On Bose speakers nonetheless. What do they think people are doing while in there? .

For a moment I wanted to complain. But only for a moment. I did not, for two reasons.

One. It was republic day. India became a proud republic on this very day. We are celebrating the 59^th anniversary of that proud moment. Not a time for complaints.

Second. I’d now finished peeing. Remember how everything’s fine with the world when you’ve just peed. It’s difficult to be angry when you’ve just relieved yourself. It’s like the beginning of a new life. You want to zip up, wash your hands and start life over again. Definitely not a time for complaints.

So I finish up and saunter away, the song still running in my head . ‘Bolo mere sang,…. ‘.

In my defense, I tried my best not to pee to the tune.