Of Shiny Floors and Bathroom Doors

(Warning: Contains disgusting descriptions and gross observations)

My compliments to the ones who have already realized what this post is about.
For the unaware, my apologies.

Let me get straight to the point.
I have nothing against shiny floors. Nor do I hold any significant disregard for the conventional bathroom door. (Or ‘toilet’ door rather. As we Indians like to put it. In our unique, ‘what’s to be embarrassed about?’ tone).

But when the bathroom door in question is somewhat short (from the bottom) and to be found placed over a rather shiny floor, …

(I refer to the commonly found partition between adjacent cubicles in most public toilets, and the exquisitely polished floors below them)

…

(Take a few moments to visualize it. Don’t let me hurry you.)

Office. Mall. Airport. Multiplex. Everywhere.

It’s like they’re following you around. Dedicated to the task at hand. Challenging you to take a shit without stealing a look at someone pulling up/down his pants.

You can t help it, can you? They have you cornered. You’re sitting there with nothing to do. It’s taking some time. You’re being patient. You’re planning what to do with life once you’re outside. Your eyes wander. … PHOOF! It’s right there. You’ve seen it now. You can’t help it. The image is imbibed in your mind. It won’t go away now. You might just as well stop trying.
And stop cringing. He can see you too.

And try waiting for the guy to be clear of the place before you leave. The last thing you want is to connect a face to the ass you just saw.

And they have accomplices. The washroom attendants. It’s like one big team. Meetings every other night.

“We need to start working together here. You guys concentrate on keeping me clean. I’ll do the reflecting and you guys over there will provide the angles. I want those peeks coming in thick and fast now”

And the tiles are always so plain. No unwanted designs. No rough surfaces. Committed to giving you as clear a view as possible.

For the doors, it’s all about hitting the right angles. I’ve noticed how they always make them the perfect height. Just enough to leave something to the imagination.

Like a sexy dress…



I have trouble falling asleep at night.


P.S: I am fully aware of having used the word ‘sexy’ in this blog.