Just not my day...

This post was written over a period of 1 1/2 hours in a cramped seat at 11000 feet while on a Spicejet flight from Delhi to Bombay.

The time is somewhere between 9:30 pm, which is when the flight took off, and 11:15 pm, when we’re expected to land. I couldn’t cut it any closer, since I’ve switched of my cell phone to conserve battery. I don’t want to be stuck in Bombay (can never get myself to call it Mumbai) without a phone when I get down.

Even as I’m typing this, the captain has just announced that we have been given a landing time of 10 minutes past midnight. This night is definitely not getting any better.

The only saving grace is that I have more than 3 hours of battery life. So here I am, typing away in 7 font size so that no one else around me can see.

On my right is a lady reading the book, “Beyond the secret”. She seems the quiet intellectual type. Definitely not the ‘let’s crib about how late this flight is’ type. The guy on my left is bored. Very. Has borrowed my magazine on retailing and is flipping through the Ads, spending inordinately long amounts of time on the ones featuring females.

The really interesting people are the family behind me. Husband, wife, kid, husband/wife’s mother, and husband/wife’s sister. By some process of decision making, it has been determined that Dear Dad will take care of the kid today. The kid is making it quite the task. Dad is trying to calm the exceptionally restless kid with typical male clumsiness and ineptitude.

He is under the illusion that taking care of spoilt kids on the airplane is definitely part of the Airhostesses’ job description. In between juggling with food trays, handing out tea and coffee, and charging people outrageous amounts of cash for these, she is getting her stocking pulled down, her food trays scattered, and the coffee cups molested by the young rut. Not to mention getting kicked in the ankle a few times for good measure. If ever there was a day when she felt like killing a passenger, today would be it. If she initiates it, I’ll gladly join in.

Being a woman, her anger seems to be focused on ‘Dear dad’ while mine is more concentrated towards the Kid. Between us, I guess we could take on both of them.

The kid has proceeded to kick my seat from behind every time he sits down with his Dad, post which he stands up and pulls my hair, all of this accompanied with high intensity screeching and wailing.

‘Mommy’ couldn’t be bothered less. Same goes for Mom-in-law and sister.

I have forgotten to carry my earphones. I did remember to carry a couple of books, both of which I deposited in my check-in baggage. The copious amounts of data I need to carry out my office work has ensured that I have by now deleted everything ‘Fun’ on my laptop that needs above 10 MB of space. It’s a company laptop; meaning no games either.

I have not had anything to eat since 12 in the afternoon. Was late for my plane, and just managed to reach in time for check-in, thereby squandering any chance of a meal before takeoff. My seat is on row 28, due to which I had to wait for a good 1 hour after takeoff for the nice airhostess lady to appear at my side, only to hear her very politely say the words “I’m sorry Sir, but we are out of vegetarian meals”. After 5 mins of rummaging in her tiny mobile ‘kingdom’, the only think she manages to find is a bag of peanuts.

I am allergic to peanuts.

….

While I am typing this, I can see the airhostess walking in with feedback forms in hand.

Time for some sweet revenge…